Saturday,
17th of July 2004
evening |
When Married becomes Divorced
This past Sunday the topic of the sermon at the Santa Barbara
Community Church (SBCC) was on Divorce, Matt 19:1-12. Since we
covered this same topic for the Wednesday homegroup that occurs
before the Sunday of the sermon, I'd been thinking about it for
awhile, and some things struck me afterwards while I was with some
friends at the church.
The passages in the Bible all seem to deal with divorce of the
woman by the man without a consideration of the reverse case
where a woman may divorce a man. However, it seems to me that
the passages all have strong messages in both ways if you were
to really seek to understand them.
The two passages that I considered were Deut 24:4, "...her former
husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife,
after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Jehovah:
and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which Jehovah thy God
giveth thee for an inheritance." and Math 19:9, "And I say unto
you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication,
and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth
her when she is put away committeth adultery."
I was able to take away from these two verses some thoughts that
seem to follow:
- To divorce someone seems to be like saying they are hopeless,
and unredeemable. If you follow to the conclusions reached by
the two passages, that's what it means to say you shall not
marry the one you divorce, and Christ goes one step further
saying no one shall marry the one who is divorced. Divorce
is a judgement set upon the one who is considered a fornicator.
- The previous chapter (Matt 18) is on church discipline. How
much is divorce like ostracizing someone from the church for
failing the steps of discipline? In a sense treating someone
as a tax collector doesn't condemn them to always be outside
the church, whereas a divorce seems to be held in a much more
absolute way.
- Can anything be said about divorce in relation to the God's
people's righteousness vs. His own righteousness? In the heart
of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", how
should we treat our spouses in terms of divorce similar to
the way God treats us in His own relationship with us?
I think this sets a high standard for marriage. It removes the
trivialness with which it's held in some cultures, basically
calling those who marry to seriously consider why they marry.
Do they marry to be in a relationship that models that of God
with His church? One which seeks to forgive and redeem, or one
that condemns and puts away as being forever defiled? Or do
they marry simply for a sexual attraction that comes and
goes, making them so willing to drop and pickup at a whim?
I see this passage as Christ's way of showing us how the
greatness of the mercy, grace, and love God shares with us.
For Him to divorce us would be like a man putting aside a woman
as unclean and not worth living with, but He has made a way so
that although we are unclean, we may still be in a relationship
with Him. He hasn't abandoned us. He hasn't counted us as
hopeless (well, not all of us).
That said, this is a hard teaching, especially to those
who really don't know better when they marry, or don't have much
of a choice. Kudos for someone who is able to live in a
relationship which was made on anything except for on God's
account. I must imagine that marriages based on the material
of this world cannot be strong or desireable. To be the one
being divorced (and being the one called unworthy in the
light of these passages) would probably have two possible
results. As a Christian, to be divorced from this
world may not be so bad, being considered unfit by their
standads and not God's. But to be divorced by a
Christian would be a great shame, being considered unredeemable.
As for divorce's meaning in this world, I could hardly believe
people see marriage and divorce as God sees them, unless they are
spiritually discerned. For those who marry and divorce without
spiritual discernment, it's not good to be sure, but even with
other sins before we know God, He still seeks us out. But once
you know better, and begin a relationship in full knowledge
given by God through His Spirit, to marry and then divorce would
be a great shame (as I see it). The World's great at putting
people together for reasons separate from God and His will
(taking part in all types of sin -- big and small), but
when God joins through His Spirit, it should never end in
separation.
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Sunday,
4th of July 2004
Way before sunrise |
The Pain
I think I became sick this past evening. I'm not sure why.
I came down with a fever, and I thought I was going to be able
to suffer through it and be able to go to Church with a full
sleep this morning, but alas, the chills were followed with a
pain that seemed to develop at my back, but I think it's really
located around my left lung, which has been quite unpleasant.
Someone will probably diagnose this as many things, but I've
decided to use my current condition to pray to God for strength
and let Him guide me in studies of His word. It also gave me
some time to pray for some people I know who are also in need
of prayer, regardless of how much they may be suffering at this
particular moment.
The things that popped into my head were acknowledgements of
God's sustaining strength in times of suffering, and how
the pain I feel now pales to the joy He will give in the future.
I know God desires us to look towards Him for His greatness and
the hope He brings us rather than dwell on the torment of our
physical bodies. This pain will pass like all pain, and all will
be well eventually.
I thought about how living alone leaves me to suffer alone
(in the physical sense).
If anything really serious happened, then I'd have no one to
call the doctor, and drive me to emergency. I wondered how much
pain I'd have to suffer moving to my car if I had to, and drive
somewhere. On the other hand, mortality means that eventually
one will die and leave this place which often carries grief
along with it.
And then I imagined all of my friends grieving for me, and how
distastful that would be. That I wouldn't want to be grieved
over, because this isn't the end. Instead I would prefer people
to offer testimonies of strength and God's blessings throughout my
life, and what the future of God's continued work in the people
I've touched will bring by God's hand and His people.
But I see people clinging onto the dismal practice of this world,
not focused on the gifts granted by God, but of the things He has
by His own great plan taken away. And then I would sustain
multiple injuries by the people who love me because they could
not make God's plan a time of rejoicing instead of sorrow. So
many say there's a place for it, and perhaps there is, but if God
isn't glorified at my passing away, no matter how trivial the
reason, then it truly is something to be mourned.
Also, if my suffering is a challenge (whether by God or Satan),
I would like to recognize that God can allow me to bear it in
a way that is beneficial. Rather than submit to being frozen
by pain, I could pray to God for deliverance, but most importantly
for guidance during this time. And I felt led to locate my Bible
and meditate on His Word. It meant endurance of pain during my
movement, but I found it quite bearable and soon retrieved my
Amplified Bible and knelt on the floor before it wondering
what I should do now that I had it, and still in pain.
Products of our Training
Nothing like opening the Bible in the middle, which happened
to be in Jeremiah! It's God's Word, and I hoped He would enable
me to find something beneficial whereever it opened, and lo and
behold I came across something I praised God for! Reading the
full passage, I wondered if the significance would be in the
chastizement of Israel, but my mind stopped at Jeremiah 13:23,
"Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?
Then also can you do good who are accustomed and taught,
even trained, to do evil."
With God leading me to focus on discipline within the Church,
I saw in this an indication of the importance of teaching good and
not letting people become accustomed to evil. I so desire for
people to be brought up in the ways of Christ and not find
themselves slipping away, that I felt compelled to remember this
one.
Discipline is Crucial within the Church
I felt that God may be desiring me to check out something in
the New Testament too (for balance), so I flipped to the back,
where I found the concordance. I forgot the book had such a
large one... But My eyes fell on a verse in Hebrews 12
(I've forgotten the exact one), so I decided to read all of
Hebrews 12, and then some of 13.
Bingo! I've never studied Hebrews in depth, so it's probably
not surprising I was surprised by the verses of 12:8-13:8!
With all of the people forgiving and holding back judgement
and not admonishing others you'd think they also haven't
considered these verses seriously. Here it's clear that we
must challenge people to walk in God's ways, and not simply
let them do what they wish without confrontation.
Heb 12:8, "Now if you are exempt from correction and
left without discipline in which all [of God's children] share,
then you are illegitimate offspring and not true sons
[at all]. [Prov 3:11,12]" A lack of discipline is always seen
as a lack of care.
Heb 12:11, "For the time being no discipline brings joy, but
seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a
peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained
by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in
confromity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action,
resulting in right living and right standing with God]." So,
discipline ultimately brings peace to those who learn from
it, contrary to the idea of forgiving people and not bothering
with them anymore, which many seem to think brings peace.
Heb 12:14-15, "Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue
that consecration and holiness without which no one will
[ever] see the Lord. Exercise foresight and be on the
watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back
from and fails to secure God's grace (His unmerited
favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment
(rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble
and bitter torment, and that many become contaminated
and defiled by it--" So, discipline is linked with peace,
and you don't learn from it unless you repent and turn away from
evil. Why is it that people seek so much to avoid peace by
forgiving people before they learn? Notice that this teaching is
necessary for all of our salvation, whether it be directly from
God, or through the members of His church who do His will. Also,
notice that the lack of correction leads to resentment!
The very thing that people complain they build up as they forgive
people who keep on repeating the same sin because they are never
confronted and corrected! Why do people think they can heal
resentment just by the process of forgiveness when it isn't
coupled with accepted instruction? It says it right here that it
is quite necessary! And I've actually seen the results of no
discipline and unbridled forgiveness. It does lead to
resentment, and no peace comes from it. Instead people become
hateful, and deny it to fool themselves into believing that they
have actually forgiven and become right with God. Instead, many
do become contaminated, and it can be invisible contamination too.
:(
A Living God, and Living Body
Heb 12:22-23, "But rather, you have come to Mount Zion, even
to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem and to
countless multitudes of angels in festal gatherings. And to the
church (assembly) of the Firstborn who are registered [as
citizens] in heaven, and to the God Who is Judge of all, and to
the spirits of the righteous (the redeemed in heaven) who have
been made perfect." Which struck me because that's how I want
people to treat me when I leave this world, not as dead,
but as still living. No morning and clinging on to worldly
possessions please!
Being Content
Heb 13:5, "Let your character or moral disposition be
free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and
craving earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present
[circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has
said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up
nor leave you without support. [I will] not. [I will] not.
[I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake
nor let [you] down (relax my hold on you)![Assuredly not!]
[Josh. 1:5.]" Amen! Begone love of worldly possessions, creater
of conflict and sorrow!
Always the Same
Heb 13:8, "Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is [always] the same,
yesterday, today, [yes] and forever (to the ages)." What a great
verse to know He is an unchanging foundation that we can count on
(trust and hope)!
Psalm 55
Finally I flipped the Bible open again and noticed a card I'd
stuck in it awhile back with a verse from Psalm 55, so I decided
to read the Psalm fully again. It's all about being betrayed by those
who you thought were your friends. I'm not sure what to make of
it yet. I guess I have met some fairly deceptive people before,
but nothing like what I see Psalm 55 as describing.
Moving Around, Curling Up
Once I finished the Hebrews passage, I felt I should grab a pen
and write down the location of the Hebrews and Jeremiah verses
before I forgot. So, in pain, I managed to get a pen from the
pocket of my pants, and write things down. Then I looked at
the Psalm and decided to just meditate on these things for
awhile. So I tried to find a comfortable position to rest, but
that was difficult. I ended up curling up which helped a great
deal. It seems that when I slouch the pain is reduced. But I
found myself becoming parched, so I knew I had to drink some
fluid, and I prayed to God, then eventually stood up erect and
found it wasn't too painful walking around. I drank some water,
browsed the web, made some tea, and have been working on writing
this.:)
Now I'm seriously exhausted, still suffering from the pain, and
am finding that my kidney's are really at work, so I need to drink
more fluid. Ah well, I feel greatful that God has really used
this time with me, and I feel blessed by it! :)
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Friday,
2nd of July 2004
afternoon/late evening |
Works Righteousness
Recently I came to be thinking about this subject because of
some comments that I heard. I think it's sad that some people
are narrowly focused on the requirements of being right with God
just so they can enter Heaven. Doing things simply to obtain
an eternal benefit seems to be a works righteous attitude.
Even if you were focused on only needing something simple,
like faith or a baptism to enter Heaven, it has
that selfishness that's just plain sour.
I think the only way to really claim an attitude apart from
works righteousness would be for all of your actions to be of a
heart aligned with God's own heart. A heart that really doesn't
care for material wealth, and is willing to make sacrifices for
others. There are so many people who, because they think
something is required for them to be right with God, like
forgiving people, will forgive indiscriminantly. Then when someone
sins, for their own benefit (not for the benefit of the one
who sinned), they forgive the other person
and don't persue the matter any further, which (in my mind) is
like condemning the other person to continuing in a path that
puts them at odds with God. It's like trying to be right with
God at the expense of letting others be in a poor relationship
with God. (Seems contradictory to me.)
So many people claim to not be of the type who try to work
their way into heaven, but when push comes to shove, it's
clear who they're really looking out for. Do they love God
above all? Do they love their neighbor as themselves secondly
above all? And here, to appease God, they let their neighbor slip
into ignorance about his own state. Rather than making it clear
that they are sinning, and how serious it is, they would rather
forgive to cover their own hides.
For me, if by admonishing my brothers and sisters and taking
steps to help them understand the severity of what they've done
is wrong, then so be it. I would rather give them the chance
to know God better (as I also wish to do) and let myself end up
in an unpleasant place for all eternity than let them follow a
path contrary to God in ignorance, and themselves possibly finding
eternal separation from God. (Let them live better than I.)
But, I know what is right. Being diligent in instructing others
in what God has shown me to be His way is right. (And accepting
honest admonishment from others is also right.) Turning away
from those who are lost or misdirected without thoughts of rebuke
is not right. Even if it means forgiveness must be delayed for
their own benefit.
I suppose, I cover this subject in more detail in
The Purpose of
Forgiveness. I meet so many Christians who would
rather forgive to spare themselves at the expense of others that
I'm sickened by it...
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